Jamaica

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/9e3abd_251f592741a048f882433e7791e8774e/1080p/mp4/file.mp4

The funeral was on a Friday, I left for Jamaica on that Sunday. I needed to get away from the calls, from our home, from work, from reality.

But....I cried every day. That doesn't mean the trip wasn't good, I had a ball! But at the end of the day, when I went to my room...reality set in. And the reality was that I was only on this trip because I was dealing with the loss of my husband. Otherwise, HE would be here with me.

From the day he passed, I was unsure. One night I remember crying in my room, praying to just hear from him. Was he okay? Did he think I did okay? Did he like his funeral? I remember the pain of feeling like I wasn't hearing from him was unbearable one night.

The very next day I walked into a gift shop and the song above was playing. He used to sing that song to me all the time. He played it in the car ALL THE TIME. He sang it while he was getting ready for work. He played it while we were home playing monopoly. The song came on and I stopped in my tracks. Frozen. Silent scream. It freaked me out!!!!!!

I started crying and left the store. I sat on a bench outside and let it all out. My friend said "maybe this is a sign". OMG!!! Last night I asked him for a sign. And here it was!!! He was probably rolling his eyes. I begged him for a sign, he gave it to me and I freaked out! I started laughing. I know he was probably shaking his head and laughing at me too.

I thanked him for giving me a sign.