Happy Birthday!

I can't believe it's his birthday. I always enjoyed celebrating his birthday with him because he loved being celebrated! Today, I can't celebrate with him but I can CELEBRATE HIM and that's what I will do. I hope to spend some time with family and friends over the next two days. The funeral is a blur so my hope is to be able to spend some time with people who loved him. Today will be hard but I got through our anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. I know I can do this.

My tears in this moment are cathartic. No silent screams today. I might just scream out loud. Today I am celebrating the man he was, and the love he gave to me so freely.

If I could talk to him, I would say this:

I miss you.

I love you.

You still put a smile on my face.

I will always honor you.

I will live bravely, boldly, and unapologetically - as you would have wanted.

Loving you changed me forever. Missing you does too.

Happy Birthday.